WARNING THIS POST IS ABOUT KILLING A COW
please be warned and if you are compelled to flame me about it please do it on your own blog.
in the heat of the moment i can do just about anything. my adrenaline kicks in and i get on task. killing anything generally upsets me. i killed that steer, phoenix. earlier that day i spent a little time with phoenix. i thanked him for his gift and hoped that we gave him a good life. i believe that we did.
james a friend that i work with came over to help with the deed. he brought his gun since my twelve gauge would have made a canoe out of his head. i lined him up where i though it would be best for him to stand. i put the barrel right between his eyes, up just a little and fired. he just stood there and staggered away. s#@T what a bunch of crap! it took three more shots, four total. finally the last one i got just over his eye and he dropped instantly.
now i was really upset. the last thing i wanted to do was hurt him. tabitha tried to console me that head injuries don't hurt nearly as much--right... insert plenty of profanity here. anyway, he was finally dead and needed to be moved to where we could hike him up.
he weighed too much for james and i to drag him without a mechanical advantage.

the kids helped.
my block and tackle made my tie-off height too low. he was too heavy to lift entirely with both simple machines. we had to improvise. we decided to try to gut him first.

this where i began to loose myself in the moment.

james gave me instructions every step of the way.

he helped at every turn or would step in where i would stall.

the kids were right there. they saw every little thing.

the innards were ridiculously heavy and near impossible to manage.

finally we hiked him up to to work on.

kassi was especially interested. she stuck through until the end.

i used my cordless saws-all to cut through the neck bones.

finally progress could start in earnest.
i even kinda enjoyed myself.
kassi was amazing, she would size things up and try to be ready to hand me the next ting she thought i might need. here it is a towel.
we cut him into quarters and put him into the freezer. james is coming back tomorrow with his commercial grinder and we will put him into little packages. this is the last photo before the camera battery gave up the ghost.
it got dark and i had to set up a four foot florescent light. kassi was so impressive she helped until the last moment. her little hands were freezing. i tried to shew her inside several times and she wouldn't have it.
we are thankful for our bounty. next time we'll try to afford to have money to have our animals processed professionally. i was overwhelmed and had to severely decompress after that ordeal. i know that some people can do that stuff day and night but it was a big job for me. learning stuff always makes me anxious. i guess there was too many things whirling around in my head compounded with the stress of it taking four shots. we'll see how i feel in a few weeks. it might not be so bad once a little spilled milk has passed under the bridge.